atatteredrose (atatteredrose) wrote,

Crap: crap crap crap

I made honest efforts to find a new OTP, I really did.  Even thought I had a couple winners.

So I'm super hoping to jinx myself here when I say: feel like I've landed on one.  Trixie/Tom, Call the Midwife.  Very few ship it, the show itself telegraphed against it, quite likely next series is all about his love affair with a different nurse, and I'm okay with all of this so long as I can play "what if?"

Braindumping thoughts from Yet Another rewatch here.

I now have Netflix, but Netflix is super edited.  Apparently I haven't seen season 4 unedited?  Though I'm guessing I didn't actually miss any Trixie/Tom scenes because that's not what they tend to cut.  Also Netflix numbers weird, it's all "Season 4 Episode 4 - Episode 3."  Yes, thank you, that was helpful... I just watched a whole episode he wasn't even in, because I'm like ... I dunno maybe I forgot something ... and now I have thoughts on Jenny Lee vs Trixie and the whole 2nd vs 3rd wave feminism locked in there.

3.3: Oh no so cute.  Like he's got a strange part in his hair and his dog collar is too loose but he is a perfect gent and so easily picks up their agitation with the Warden (?) about the woman's care and is friendly and clearly comfy there and does his bit and moves on but then...  He stops, turns, stares.  Later you wonder what happened to that guy, when he turns into a spaz, and then realize he was a spaz because he really freaking likes Trixie, he is otherwise perfectly competent at life.

And then you remember him giggling at Barbara's frilly hat dialogue in the CS, and remember he's never really giggled with Trixie.  Much of their storyline was dramatic, but it was more than that.  Trixie keeps feeling she should be deep to be worthy of him.  When she's witty and trivial he tends to not get it and she has to explain.  Which is all so silly because her wit is one of the things he loves her for, presumably, and apart from pop cultural disconnect, he's silent because he's afraid to get it all wrong.  (Meanwhile Trixie is the sort of person who will throw herself into it and if it turns out she's wrong, cry and drink later.)

Random insert, but there's a pic from the CS picking up the sick child from the bus.  The point of the scene is that Barbara first looks at him like she maybe has a crush, and he looks back at her whilst walking off - indicated (again) he's interested.  But the picture is of them standing there, he's just taken the child into his arms, and he's looking off to the right a bit.  Where, I think, Nonnatus House is.  All I can think is that he is, in this moment, looking for Trixie.  Maybe he sees her, probably he doesn't.  The episode I'm looking at doesn't even have this shot so a) he's looking at the Director or b) haha what, but upon this thought I switched from having seen him entirely moved on from her this episode, to everything he does being about Trixie.

His dumb approach about flower arranging?  Initially seemed like Trixie was her usual self, trying to sort out where they stood and her default is a bit flirty, and he just finds her funny but whatever and walks off.  Now I see Trixie's pause, of course, knowing she's feeling him out or gone a step too far, hearing nothing, then him walking away - a rejection.  But I also see Tom, amused, but watching her more than he needs to, rocking back for a second after she speaks, realizing he doesn't know what to say and has no right to say it anyway.  In the past he might have just stepped closer, or waited until she said something else.  But he's like Darcy as Mr. Elton or something "nothing to say which could please her anymore."  And just sort of runs away instead.

And that's where I got this stupid little hope that what they intend for this season is maybe Tom being an idiot and sort of leading Barbara on, and Barbara having a first true crush, whilst rebuilding Trixie/Tom from the ground up.  Where they can work together as contextual partners in planning things, here and there, and of course it's awkward personally but as they work through that Tom learns that Trixie's way is awesome and Trixie can get to know a Tom who isn't merely trying to impress her.

And yes indeed I Can bring this all back to moment 1.  Because as they were walking away Tom looked back at Trixie and Trixie looked back at Tom.  Though they didn't flirt at all and barely looked at each other.  They were physically attracted, sure, but what caught them each is the nonverbal communication achieved.  The single aim shared.  Tom didn't remark or highlight Trixie death-glaring TPTB over patient care, he just slipped right on to supporting their charge of bed rest.  He takes his cue from her, just as he does when she's defending the gay father.  Trixie was clearly focused on her patient and argument, yet still heard every word.  They were both so active and brave here, then the show had Tom afraid of Trixie and it broke them, it let each of their insecurities take over and overwhelm the relationship.  At the Rose Parade, Trixie twisting her ring, over and over until she speaks out, because she was trying to be who Tom wanted her to be, rather than who she is, and btw he was a giant stupid idiot all episode.  And now part of me hopes this is the way the writer's see it and they'll use it and fix it, this is going to hurt so much.
Tags: call the midwife
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