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11 September 2012 @ 01:46 pm
never grow up, never surrender  

I've done it for years, and even after committing to a lower, normal voice, I'm doing it AGAIN.

Except MM didn't do it all the time, we just think she did, and I really do, when I'm not being authoritative and rigorous.  SPAZ iz ME!


Recognized by another returning student from returning student brunch.  Tagged along to meeting about a support group.  Wound up convincing the mental health guy that they should help us run a no-commitment student-only informal support group to use instead of or in addition to their facilitated formal committed groups.  Recognized, random stuff, telling other people what to do even though they've been doing it this way for years.  Yeah.  That's me.

I actually would have done their group, to support others, and from my innate curiousity and need to understand and integrate.  Alas, group versus half the colloqia, with their opportunity to survey the broad array of research being done even within the university?  I barely had to pause on that one.


Also now curious about research into fandom as a supportive environment.  I know I've learned more and successfully weathered tough times with many of ya'll, in ways I couldn't and didn't with people in real life.  And it's not the boundary of the screen and the subsequent veneer of anonymity.  It's that with the same narrative, characters, relationships etched into our souls, we have a common language already, real life mapping of emotions and situations takes place, we're searching the same ground, if for different reasons.  It's what the internet does best.  It's rare to find this, the right person at the right time, when you look around.  When we filter through the internet, limits of geography are transgressed, and we can express what we need to express, be understood in the ways we need to be understood, and even the parts we aren't aware are there find release in the catharsis of wandering over and in all the parts of our shared fandom which we -can- recognize and appreciate.

So... Thank you, to everyone I've ever talked with, and may we talk again, no matter how much time has passed, if we're still in sync, or just have a curiousity about what we are up to and if oru lives are going well.
c_canadensisc_canadensis on September 12th, 2012 10:07 pm (UTC)
Agreed about what the internet is good for. It's still rare enough here, I think, even within a fandom, but definitely easier than real life because of the sheer number of members of that fandom you can find.

Thank you too. :)
atatteredroseatatteredrose on September 12th, 2012 11:54 pm (UTC)

I've been really fortunate to connect with some amazing people at perfect moments, in real life, and there is something about being physically present that corresponds, I think, to the shared fandom "language." A secret code standing in for the ability to read body language, perhaps?

Online, I think it really helps when the fandom is... Being Erica has been my heart and soul for so long, and it's already a show that is about memories, regrets, relationships, how things change and we grow. It's perfect. It's the engagement people already had, the show traced solitary growth through support networks... And the fandom was so small, and early, small fandoms often tend to be so mature, thoughtful, and Canadian shows attract a peculiar and awesome fanbase anyway...

I've met incredible people in every fandom I fall into, like, hours and books-worth of analysis and chat. But never so many people, and never quite the emotional aspect, never like BE.


Maybe also it's easier, just easier. In real life you have to bump into someone and talk for a while to figure it out. But in fandom you can learn about someone first, what they post, how they write...
c_canadensisc_canadensis on September 13th, 2012 10:31 pm (UTC)
Yes, I'm sure experience varies a lot across fandoms. Bigger fandoms have mature, thoughtful pockets but you have to be lucky enough to stumble across them amidst the noise the other fans make.

I was thinking the same thing about why online is sometimes easier - it takes longer to discover common ground IRL. Online, you get to lurk and observe before actually chatting, even after the wonders of Google or LJ tags have pointed you towards the right people.

I miss BE too!! Maybe more now since it's the time of year when it should be starting a new season. Wonder if Michael Riley or Erin Karpluk have new projects...
atatteredroseatatteredrose on September 13th, 2012 10:44 pm (UTC)
And in the real world there are always other things to think and talk about, whereas online we've already created an isolated pocket. Not that we don't talk about other things, but there's less consequence, I guess.

I'm either lazy or scared, so I'm not googling it, but if Karpluk could get a show, she'll be on it this fall. She's trying to establish herself, and she technically was a regular on that other show during BE, but she had to be written off for scheduling conflicts.

I doubt Riley does. He gets pickier and picker over time, and TV is a big time commitment. I wonder, actually, if he's talked with Sinyor and Martin, and if he'll be a part of their next venture. They're good writers and inventive, and I got the impression he was pretty happy with the mystery of his role and freedom they gave him - he's such an obsessive methody detail actor.
c_canadensisc_canadensis on September 15th, 2012 11:36 pm (UTC)
Yes, would be nice if they collaborated again in the future. There doesn't seem to be any news of him appearing in anything else. Sam turned up on something I was watching the other day, but just as a guest star.